I've been thinking of doing this for so long now. What 'this' is is a series of pictures featuring all my insecurities  which I'm sure a lot of females will recognise. Each picture has a title and underneath it, there's a small blurb to help you understand the picture better. Although I have been planning this for a while, I decided to do it now- the moment I hit a set number of page views- because in no way do I want to create the illusion of a perfect life to my audience. While creating these series of photos, I interviewed a few of my followers and other bloggers as well about their own insecurities and I was surprised to find that they can relate to most of mine, if not all.

 If you are easily offended please click the back button and look at some of my outfit posts.

Lipstain 

 I've always been that kind of girl who hates putting something on her lips other than chapstick but as I grew older, I realised that maybe lipsticks could be tolerated and so started the journey of me buying a dozen of the medium-sized tubes every time I stepped a foot inside the local makeup store. However, (this is a really stupid insecurity) I feel like I'm acting too old for my age if I apply lipstick and go into public and I've always wanted to say what the hell, idgaf but it hasn't happened yet.

50 cm

 There's a rule I have for my thighs: the thickest part always has to be less than 50cm otherwise I will refuse to wear tights or jeans. It annoys me when I sleep at night because all I can think of as I drift somewhere between semi-awake and semi-asleep is that oh my god, my thighs are rubbing against each other which is so stupid because I'm lying down on my side, so of course they will touch each other!

Beauty over pain

 I hate shaving my legs. I really do. Once I told a boy about how I had cut my legs after shaving (or attempting to) in the shower and he told me that "it was disgusting" and that he didn't want to know about something like that. Someone please tell me why boys expect us to be hairless but can't acknowledge the pain we go through to achieve that? It's nice to know that 50% of my personality lies in whether or not I have hairy legs.

Blood and more blood

 People [read: men and boys] hate talking about periods. It's seen as something private and embarrassing for a girl. If she gets her period, there is no way she's telling her father first, in fact will she even tell her father? I don't see why it has to be a secret that I get my period every month, it's only natural and even though it is annoying it's also a sign of good health. I really hate having guy friends who get disgusted by something as mediocre as this, so if you're a boy who knows me and you're reading this; next time, I complain about menstrual cramps you shut your mouth and give me sympathy not disgusted looks.

U.G.L.Y

 Everyone thinks they're ugly at least once in their life. For me, it's in the middle of the day where I can't stand to look at my face or my body. I already have a plastic surgery fund started.

Mirror on the wall

My mother always complains that I stare at the mirror too much. Honestly, I'll have to agree with her. Whenever, I pass a reflective surface I have to look at my reflection because what if my hair isn't right? or I look worse than I expected?

"It's just a diet"

Probably the biggest lie I've ever told someone. Unless a diet lasts for 2 years and you think about it every hour that you're awake. In 2017, one of my resolutions is to stop treating my disorder like it's a disease and comfortably talk about it with my friends. I'd also like to eat pizza without touching my stomach after every bite.

Crybaby 

I cry a lot. Like a lot. I cry when I watch videos of baby elephants or just baby anything  but somehow, the tears just don't stop. It's slightly pitiful I'll admit (okay it's very pitiful) and I'm really conscious about how much emotion I show in public because I scrunch up my face into this unexplainable ugly expression when I cry.

Vanity

 I think I can be really vain sometimes (which totally contradicts my previous posts) and times when I am supposed to be studying, I'm really looking into a mirror trying to figure out ways I could alter or improve my physique. For me it's almost a defence mechanism because I could either sit there all day wallowing in self pity or think about different possibilities to make things better (i.e. plastic surgery).